finally saw Mikey and Nicky after meaning to for ages (and being too busy to watch a movie for a whole month!), and was absolutely blown away. two total powerhouse performances. an almost too real depiction of how letting your love for a violently selfish person keep you close to them can poison your very soul. how love for another can get compressed through boundary-less martyrdom into moral compromise after moral compromise until you don’t even recognize yourself and the…

at times deeply horrible to watch -- i at one point full-body winced away from the screen, curling into myself like a frightened child in a mirror of Lili's own body language earlier in the film -- but 36 Fillette captures a certain kind of adolescent girlhood experience of being sexually manipulated but also feeling thrilled by it, a combination of sensations like when fruit is so sweet because it's rotten, of so much fear and so much desire not…

This rather set of loose notes that I would love to turn into a more formal piece of writing if invited to do so somewhere – I’ll call it that and not a “review” – contains spoilers regarding Nosferatu (2024), and also explicit discussion of my sex life. This isn't really one of those "did I like it or not" or "you should go see it or not" type texts.
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I am writing in bed in a fucked out…