greta gerwig: i will cast the march sisters perfectly and make them do intense research into their roles, they will embody their characters
also greta gerwig: fuck it, bob odenkirk as the dad

i text my grandma immediately after watching this because it reminded me of how much i love her. the only reason i didn't call her instead is because i was uncontrollably crying

edward: i’m like 100 years old, this won’t work out
bella: ok boomer

in all seriousness, it’s nice to see a film where females talk casually and openly about masturbation. female masturbation seems to be quite a taboo topic in movies, and if it is talked about it’s usually in a purely sexual and ‘erotic’ way. only male masturbation is ever talked about humourously, but it’s nice to finally see people realising female masturbation is just as normal. it’s not a big fucking deal, and girls should learn that instead of being embarrassed about it. everybody say thank you to booksmart

me: wow, i am truly the dumbest bitch in the world
paris hilton: *leaves her key under her doormat when she’s away and at the height of her fame*
me: ...ok maybe i’m not the dumbest

captain marvel: fun
endgame: funeral

colin firth as mark darcy... maybe some men deserve rights... maybe...

brie: in my new movie, i’m gonna adopt-
girls and gays: us, please
brie: what? no, i was gonna say a uni-
girls and gays, with the adoption forms ready: please

there's a part where 'ozzy osbourne' licks both his and nikki sixx's piss off the floor... that about sums it up

“i do not have the talent of conversing easily with people i have never met before”
bitch, me too, the fuck

liam, we have established you are NOT the funny hemsworth, stop trying to be

why do we keep casting crusty 60+ men who can't act in movies when richard e. grant is out here being a fucking star